My Long Game story

For years I’ve loved having conversations with men. There is something raw, intimate and childlike about being with men when we are being honest and open. So throughout my working life I have time and again come back to putting my focus on working with men.

I think most of us never really get the support we need. We buckle up, put on our veneer and just get on with it. What I am seeing now though, as I hit my mid 50’s, is that that whole veneer is starting to wear off.

I am beginning to question a lot about life, my place in it, and how I want to spend the rest of it? And by that last question I mean, who do I want to be and how do I want to show up? In other words, it is not about what do I want to do, it is more about how do I want to live?!

It is those personal questions, and a realisation that a lot of other men in the second half of life are having their own version of asking themselves questions, that has prompted me to put together The Long Game.

For the last few years women around our age have been taking a leap forward in how they talk about ageing, menopause, and being much more open about what the experience is like. Even many men I talk to have taken a greater interest and are being much more supportive than they ever have in the past. However, I don’t think we have been very good at turning the mirror back on ourselves and spending time looking at what we are going through.

And I want to change that!

I think it is important that we do. We still have a lot to experience in our lives. We each have massive life knowledge that we can share with each other and the world. I think it is important that we recognise the changes that we are going through, whether that is in our bodies, our work, our wants, our desires and rather than get overwhelmed by those changes and questions that they bring up, turn and face them!

In many ways I think I’ve spent the last 30 years of my working life to get to this point. First working with the human body and mind as a Hellerwork practitioner, then alongside that for the last 20 years as a leadership facilitator, where I’ve been running both leadership and men’s retreats, and spending many years sitting in circles of men initially as part of The Mankind Project, and then over the last few years more casual groups just because I really fucking love them.

I think men taking time to look at what is really important for them in this second part of our lives is a really important thing for us to do. It is important for each of us personally, and I think it is important for all of those around us. How we choose to show up and live these remaining years of our lives could be the most important thing we do!